Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Insurance, Waists, and Stone Babies

Today just wore me out. I was on the phone with a million and five people about health insurance for Audrey. It's such a freaking mess. We had been on my mom's but they booted us off the day she died so I'm trying to apply for CHIP or Medicaid for her, but that takes 4-6 weeks to get evaluated. I don't want Audrey to go without coverage for like, a month, so I'm going to shell out all kinds of money for COBRA for the next month. Buuuut, of course it's not that easy and there are all these other ridiculous loopholes that make everything so complicated. Gotta love health insurance. And I mean, come on, you can't tell me this lovely little girl doesn't deserve some quality health insurance:

Besides that, we went to the mall with Spencer to try to find him some pants. We were unsuccessful. I mean the mall had pants, don't get me wrong, but he wanted Levi's 511s in a certain shade of denim and just couldn't find them. He can be picky.

I've found that shopping is still kind of tough. After being pregnant for nine months and becoming quite bulbous, it's hard to remember what it's like to have a waist. I'm slooowwwly starting to fit in to more and more of my jeans. And thank God, cause I love my jeans.

Then and Now (goofy and goofier):

Some friend came over a while later, and we reminisced about being younger. I've known a lot of my friends since, like, kindergarten, so we have a lot to reminisce about haha. Then, I started watching this weird thing on Discovery Health about really random birth-related experiences, and they talked about "stone babies." This one lady had a fetus inside of her for FORTY SIX YEARS! Good God almighty. I guess somehow it got attached to her organs and it was too dangerous for it to get taken off--plus she was, like, terrified. So, it just hung out there for forty-six years I guess. They call it a stone baby because a layer of calcium builds up around it making it hard, etc. Apparently, it's really a miracle that she even survived.

Say whaaaaaaat?!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Running Around

Today would have been my mom's 51st birthday. Needless to say, it was a bit rough. Audrey and I went to go visit my mom's grave this morning with sunflowers (her favorite), and I don't know what I expected to see, but it's not completely covered yet. I mean, her coffin is buried but it's not covered in grass or anything. It was just tough to see. The reality of the situation is beginning to seep through lately since there are more and more occassions where I realize that she's not here and she's not coming back. It kind of feels like she's on vacation or something, but then I realize she's not. I always think of things that I know she'd want to hear or that she could help me with, but then it hits me that I never ever will be able to tell her. It's so weird.

Other than that, we visited this clinic that had be really really helpful when I first found out that I was pregnant. I know some people think those kind of places pressure you but honestly, I know they are pro-life, but it wasn't one of those overly preach-y kind of places. And believe me, I'm not big on the whole WWJD kind of thing. Yes, some of the brochures they had given me did talk about God and morals and whatnot, but I never felt pressured into choosing life--I had already made that decision in my own mind. They have some great resources and were very friendly. It just pisses me off when people talk about places like that in a bad way. My experience with that clinic was really very positive. I guess if ever in that situation, it's best to go into a place like that as level-headed as you can, keeping in the back of your mind that the decision is yours and yours alone. But annnyyywaay, they were very excited to meet little Audrey, and had heard about my mom (yes, it's a rather small town) and expressed their support if needed.

By the way, Audrey has been so happy lately for some reason. She is suuuch a ham. She always has this ridiculously large grin plastered across her face, and sometimes, I can even get her to giggle. It is honestly the most adorable thing I have ever heard in my life, and I am willing to do just about anything to hear it. I act like the world's biggest idiot just to get one little laugh. Ok, ok, yes, I admit it, I'm officially a mom. She's also getting more sloppy I think. Well, I don't know if sloppy is the right word, but she's always covered in drool or else dripping milk all over the place (which is why she's rocking a bib more often). Here she is all set to chow down and looking like a big cheeseball:

Speaking of chowing down, our neighbors invited us down for a lovely little dinner tonight as a way to take our minds off of some of the craziness going down. It helped. They're like family. Plus, they make good food, which is never a bad thing. It's amazing how supportive everyone has been throughout this whole situation. My mom obviously associated herself with some good people!

On our way down to our neighbors I snapped this little picture of Audrey's feet. It's crazy, for some reason I always have to count her toes. It's just hard to believe that the big guy in the sky gets it right almost every time. It just doesn't seem possible that I (or I guess, Spencer and I) built her with my body. Insanity.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Tummy Time!

Audrey's neck control and strenght is definitely improving. When she's having some tummy time, you can definitely tell that she's in the very beginning stages of crawling. Her little thighs--actually I guess they're quite pudgey--start pumping away and her rolly polly arms start flopping around and she grunts and groans like she's working soooo hard. I mean, holding your head up is real tough work.

Ok, I can't resist. Here's another sunglass picture haha:

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Too cool for school

I wish I was updating this a bit more often, but with everything going on, it's been pretty insane around here. We're hanging in there, though.

Aaaaand, on top of everything, Audrey started teething!

None of the teeth have broken through the gum yet, but you can see little Chiclet-shaped white spots in her gums. So cute :) Sometimes she's been a little cranky, but overall, she's been doing great. However, you can usually find her with an entire fist stuffed in her mouth and a trail of drool connecting her chin to her onesie. Very attractive.

Speaking of being attractive:

Check out that hottie. How cool is she? I mean seriously. Oh, and that goofy little chair? It's called a Bumbo, and though it looks completely ridiculous, she really loves it. It supports her so well, allowing her to sit up better. In that last picture, she has on a diaper, but you can't tell. And those sunglasses just completely crack me up. They Velcro in the back!! I think she knows she's hot stuff.

(P.S. note all the teething-related drool covering my pillow...thanks Audrey!)

Friday, July 17, 2009


My mom ended up passing away on Tuesday, July 14 with my brother and I both by her side. It all still feels so insane. She had only been in the hospital about three weeks, and she had only been diagnosed with lung cancer for about 2 weeks. My mom was honestly one of the healthiest people I know. She ate healthy. She never smoked. She rarely drank alcohol. She went to the gym more than I did. It just makes no sense at all; I guess it's not going to.

At this point, I don't know that it really feels real just yet. I'm numb. Obviously watching my mother pass away is the most real situation I've ever found myself in, but at the same time, we've been so busy rushing around planning the viewing and the funeral and looking at our budget and figuring out bills and picking out a casket and sorting through pictures and answering phone calls and emails....etc. etc. etc. I feel like once everything really dies down it'll hit me like a brick wall.

I'll do longer post some other time. Right now I'm putting together a bunch of pictures for the viewing tomorrow. Sorry these pictures are so bad. I just used my phone to take pictures of the actual pictures.